How to Have a Cardio Workout Without Exercise

1. Enter your office building at your usual time.


2. Realize by the beeping of the security system that you are the first one on the premises.

3. Realize that in twelve years at this office you have never been the first one on the premises and have never had to disarm the security system.

4. Dump the entire contents of your purse on the table in an effort to find your security code.

5. Fail.

6. Pick up the phone to call the security provider.

7. Remember that the phones are immediately shut off when the security system is activated.

8. Get your cell phone.

9. Realize you do not have the phone number for the security provider.

10. Try to find a phone book.

11. Fail.

12. Search the entire building for a phone book.

13. Succeed.

14. Call the security provider, who has apparently heard this sob story more than once before, and tiredly tells you to call someone who knows the code.

15. Beg him not to send the police.

16. Call the supervisor you thought would be most sympathetic.

17. Wait patiently while she laughs hysterically at your predicament.

18. Get the code.

19. Enter the code.

20. Start your day.