You Missed It

Oh, I wish you could have seen me at my swimming lesson last night. The following phrases would have sprung to your mind:

• Dolphin-like.
• As graceful as a swan.
• Gliding through the water like a magnificent sailing vessel.

Tears would have come to your eyes unbidden, and you would have had thoughts of mermaids…

OK, my fantasy is now over. The following phrases are what really would have sprung to your mind:

• Wow, is that a manatee?
• There’s an old shoe floating in the water.
• Somebody help that lady; I think she’s going to drown!

The only tears coming to anyone’s eyes were my own, as yet again I forgot you can’t breathe through your nose in the water.

Ah well, I kept trying. And it did feel like I did slightly – very slightly – better. I kicked, I back-floated, I worked on learning the breast-stroke kick, I added arms to the back float, and at the very end we worked on free style for as long as I could stand it, which was about 2 minutes. Best of all, for me at least, I did not drown, yet again.